What's missing from pornography and sex scenes?

For many, the earliest sexual education comes from watching some form of pornography. There is no denying that porn shapes our sexual practices, as young people turn to online sites to both learn and gain pleasure. Regardless, of if they want to admit it, porn influences their perception of what is deemed sexy, attractive, and normal. Now, I want to make it clear, I am very sex-positive and consensual pornography if that is what you are into, is totally fine. However, it is important to note that many of the erotic films are missing elements and the actual depiction of sexual intercourse is severely skewed.

What is missing?

Consent

Consent is the foundation for sex, as without consent sex cannot take place. However, when it comes to porn consent is never shown. Make sure you gain consent before you begin and continue to check in during, as consent is an ongoing process.

Body hair

Body hair varies from person to person, some choose to shave, some don’t. Unfortunately, porn often does not account for differences in body hair … which we think is super lame considering it is a very natural and normal part of being human. When it comes to body hair do what you feel most comfortable with, shave, don’t shave you are all beautiful.

Diverse bodies

Bodies come in all different shapes and sizes; this goes for genitals too. Different people can also do different things with their bodies, we are not all the same. All bodies are different and all bodies are wonderful! It is important to remember that a lot of erotic media will edit their actors, so never compare yourself to someone on the screen.

Protection and contraception

You should always use some form of contraception; we recommend using a condom as this is the only form of protection that will protect you from STI’s. It is also important to have a conversation about what type you would like to use before you have sex as communicating about safe sex is one of the best ways to ensure a pleasurable experience for all.

Communication of boundaries, wants and desires

Communication before, during and after sex is vital to ensure a pleasurable experience for all involved. Tell your partner what you want and how you want it, ask them questions, and check-in during and after (trust me there is nothing sexier in bed than communicating!).

Being silly and laughing at the awkwardness of it all

Sex is fun and at times super funny. So, it’s okay to laugh, especially when one of you might accidentally fart or your bodies make a weird noise when you change position. Sex can be super silly at times, so just roll with it, have a laugh and most importantly, have fun.

Always remember porn is a performance and the people you are watching are acting, meaning a lot of what you will see is not entirely correct. Remember to communicate with your partner, ask for consent, use protection, love your own body, be silly and have fun.

By Alexis Pallister